I am a sinner.
I lie, I cheat, I steal, I am lustful,
I am arrogant and I am very prideful.
I don't deserve to live. I don't deserve to be treated kindly.
I don't deserve Your love.
I know that I am not perfect, but I try to be one anyway.
I know that life on earth isn't permanent,
but I strive hard to have all the riches in the world.
Someday, I'll die and who knows where I'll be?
Yet I try so hard to impress others, you see?
I smile, I laugh and I joke around everyone.
I don't let others see that I'm in a deep sorrow,
Because I know they'll just laugh and judge me for who I am.
This hole inside me keeps getting bigger and bigger,
But I do my best to ignore it every day.
I tell myself,"I don't need you! You're nothing to me."
But a distant voice tells me, "I am not alone."
I tell my friends, I am doing just fine even if I'm not.
Because my prideful heart doesn't want to be humble.
"I am me, see? And nobody should care!
I should live life according to my will and nobody should interfere!"
I don't care about people, I don't care about anyone.
I'm selfish and mean and I'm sick and tired of this world I'm living.
So many pretenders and so many hypocrites!
But who am I to complain? I do the same thing, I do the same game.
Most people around me don't really care what I think,
They are liars, cheaters and prideful as I am.
But how? How did I ever come to know You?
I tried so hard to ignore you.
I blamed and hated You, but you walked with me anyway.
You told me to leave the past and said, "forever you'll stay".
Why? Why are you trying so hard to be with me?
I am rotten and evil, I made many mistakes!
Cursed me, don't love me, I am nothing in this world!
Please, ignore me. I am not worthy of your love.
I cried so hard, I just couldn't take it anymore.
The feeling of light and love caressing me so close.
Your words of encouragement is one of a kind,
It touched my heart the moment you said,"You're mine."
I lived a life of pretend, ignored by the truth and encourage by unbelievers.
I used to love the world more than you.
Lord, forgive me! Please, save me.
The truth is I don't want to live a life of disappointment and pain anymore.
I want to be redeemed, I just want to be free.
Please humble my prideful heart and mind.
I want to be saved from the wrath of eternal damnation.
I don't want to be lost in the woods of regret and misery.
Please shine your light upon me and redeem me, Oh Lord.
I now surrender my everything to you.
Forget about my life, forget about my pride,
Forget about my choice and forget about my ambitions.
I give my life to you, Oh Lord, no questions asked.
My past will be ignored, let my future be with love and of mercy.
All rights reserved © Shiya Tamasao 2014
