The Waiting

So there I was sitting up front staring blankly on a vague image of a man. I tried to focus but it was blurry. Who he was? I do not know. But he sure melted my heart away.

I usually forget the names of people I just met but his case was different. His father called him, "Paul". I was in awe.

I asked myself, "Why, Paul?" My conscience replied, "Why not? You have problems with names now?"

Possibly, but I dare not discuss it.

His image lingers in my mind as I wait for mystery to unravel.

Will I ever meet him again? I realized it was a dumb question. Meeting him and even talking to him would take some kind of miracle. If this was just a crush, I'd probably think it's not too complicated to comprehend. But the thought and pressure of being alone made my ideas even more irrational.

If I set certain goals, I might as well be realistic. A smart choice does not always mean the right one. So how do I keep this matter at hand?

Being too obvious could break the peace. In time, I might be grieving or even regretting the very aspiration I had in mind if I let it all pass by. This could be my last chance of a happy ending.

When will this madness diminish?

In truth, I won't let myself be pressured by my peers constant nagging. They have no control over me. I told myself I won't settle for less and neither will I make my own choice without God's guidance and help. Thereby, the very thought of choosing is difficult. I might end up into a fluke accident of affiliating with a miserable mate for life.
And that would absolutely break my heart. It's a no return, no exchange policy.

Thus, time can only tell who, what, when, where and why?

As of now, I am happy. I am even more joyful to finally feel the stillness of God's amazing grace.

If I am to lead my life, everything will be upside down. I can't, I just can't let avidity and tension dictate the very best of me.

Everything we are and everything in it comes from God. So, If I were to choose who will and where I'll be? I will stand and remain ever faithful to the Lord. 



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